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©2019 by Alex Price Music. 

The "Angel" Session Log

*The following are excerpts taken from psychiatric evaluation sessions directly following the accident

-Editor

Session #1: Patient [XXXXXXXX XXXXX] 

 

Psychologist 

Tell me more about this letter. The one that your Dad wrote to you. 

[XXXXXXXX] 

It was about my Mom. It told me exactly what happened when I was born. He didn't leave any details out really. The entire truth and how he felt about it.  

Psychologist 

And this letter, this was the spark for your initial trauma, right? As I understand, you found it before he attempted to give it to you. 

[XXXXXXXX] 

Yeah. I did. He had told me up to that point that my mom had died when I was born, but I don’t think I ever really understood exactly what happened until I read that letter.  I don't know, it wasn't like he was lying to me, but once I had the full truth I...I just wasn’t able to process it very well back then.  

Psychologist 

That's alright. No one blames you. But you’re better now,, because of this dream. This accident. 

[XXXXXXXX] 

It wasn’t just a dream. It couldn't have been. I don’t really know how to explain what happened to me in that coma. But it felt real. I don’t expect you to believe me.  

Psychologist 

A lot of time, dreams do feel real enough when we are inside of them. There's no denying that.

 

Would it be okay if you could recount for me how you felt back then? When you found the letter initially. 

[XXXXXXXX] 

Thanks for asking. I remember it being complicated. I don’t know. It felt like my world had been turned upside down. This was about the time when I was getting panic attacks. I was really angry at first, I think, because he hadn’t told me sooner. But that soon passed and kind of morphed into apathy. I just stopped making friends, stopped really caring about anything in particular. I felt like just by existing, I had been hurting my Dad because of what happened to Mom. I had convinced myself that it was my fault she was gone.  

Psychologist 

And are you still convinced? 

[XXXXXXXX] 

No. Not really. Not in the same way.

 

I don’t think I can ever really get over the guilt I felt about her death. And that's okay. But much of the apathy, the sadness I felt, the self-hatred over that was definitely lessened. Changed really. Changed for the better.

Psychologist 

By your experiences while in this coma? 

[XXXXXXXX] 

Yes. 

 

Psychologist

That’s good. (slight pause) It sounds like you’re much better now than before.

[XXXXXXXX] 

So can you clear me? If you think I'm better I'd rather...

Psychologist

I said you're better, and that should be celebrated, but I think there is still work we can do. I wouldn't be doing my job if I cleared you with these lingering thoughts that you have, about this dream, about your father, about all of it really.  So no, I won't clear you yet. The time will come for that, don't worry. There are only so many memories to explore, in one person. No one is infinite. Is that okay?

[XXXXXXXX] 

Yes.

Psychologist

Good. I'll see you next week then.

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